I’ve never had a valentine that wasn’t required or related to me. We all remember in elementary school getting candy in our bags from every kid in the class. I also remember my mom buying me something on every Valentine’s Day. The gift ranged from candy or paying a bill on my behalf (my mom is a real OG). In each instance, I felt appreciated in some way and even loved.
But, we all know mom love is almost a given. Even though our moms mean well, she can’t make us love ourselves. So, as any girl or woman knows, a day of love like Valentine’s Day is so difficult. If you’re single, specifically, you may feel completely alone on this day. If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, you can feel even more alone and not willing to celebrate. For so many years, I looked at Valentine’s Day as a day of reflecting on what I did wrong all year. How I wasn’t fine enough, focused enough, or even worth enough to have a relationship long enough for this day. I thought about past lovers and got mad at them for not allowing me to make it to this day in a relationship. I completely ignored that none of them should’ve made it to one day around me, let alone a holiday.
This year, however, I feel completely different about the day. Even though I have a Valentine (S/O to you), today is another excuse for me to love myself. I’m getting my nails done, I went shopping and I’m improving my skincare routine. Another gift I’m giving myself is to get as much work done as possible so I’m not stressing myself out before Black Panther weekend.
All of these acts of self-love are giving me time to celebrate myself and who I am. I have come so far on my self-love journey that I know the love I need. I know what I want to hear and the energy I need to be the best me. I’m in a space where a relationship is a cherry on top of an already magical milkshake. When you focus on yourself and what you need/want, the nonsense the wrong person has will be dismissed. In loving yourself, you will also find that you are a better lover to someone else.
Loving Elizabeth’s sexiness
While on my journey to self-lovery, I know I ooze sex appeal. My sexiness something I shied away from. This is because it came way too early and instantly attracted the wrong kind of attention. I don’t want to tone myself down. Because this blog forces me to be in front of a camera, I find little things about myself that are completely sexy. These things weren’t shown to me by a man, which made them so much more gratifying. I encourage all of you to find what is sexy about you to you. Once you find them, highlight them in your pictures or in the mirror and watch them shine.
Loving Elizabeth’s style
My style is always changing and yet always the same. I can remember always having one look or item that I focused on in my style. One season it would be flower headbands and the next it will be random big rings. Lately, I’ve loved items that allow me to embrace my insecurities. Bodysuits and crop tops, for instance, because they show my belly and thighs. Both are areas that I used to hate but now love and appreciate. The more I love and learn about myself, the more fearless I am finding myself in my style. I feel very free to be myself and wear whatever I want.
No matter how you are celebrating today, remember to not take today so seriously. If you already love yourself, you have an instant Valentine. If someone else is loving you (mom, bae, Jesus), don’t take them for granted. Be kind to someone today, because you don’t know their story. Wear something that makes you feel your sexiest. Do something that you would consider a treat. Whatever your day looks like, I hope it is filled with love and wonder.
Love, Light, and Style,
What I’m wearing:
Top: BohooPlus, similar look can be found here
Skirt: Charlotte Russe, similar item can be found here
Shoes: TJ Maxx, similar item can be found here
Lipstick: Stunna by Fenty Beauty in Uncovered
Photography by Bea